My 28-Year-Old Experience
My birthday was the 17th of February, it’s always a solid day on the calendar to reflect. 2020 was a year. I lived in 5 states. Here’s what I learned in my 28-year-old year.
I left a junior hockey coaching job in February of 2020 and have been “unemployed” since.
In the Mark Baker definition of the word, I’ve been working(writing and creating) for free so I can get paid on leisure time(when someone makes a purchase)
After I left my job in Minnesota, I went to live in Lincoln, Nebraska for 2 weeks.
I sent a cold email to Cody Chupp who was the HC of the Lincoln Stars at the time and asked if I could come to be around their process for a week or two.
He got back to me and we set it up for mid-March.
Unfortunately, you all know what happened in mid-March.
I was fortunate to get on the ice with them for 2 days of practice and sit in on their meetings, individual and group video sessions, and anything else I wanted.
I didn’t know what I was learning at the time but Cody was and is currently playing a positive-sum game in life.
I was at a huge knowledge deficit, I could help pass and move some pucks around in the skill ice, but I wasn’t going to provide anything revolutionary to their process. I was there to learn.
He could have said, “well what’s the point, if you can’t help me, I don’t need you here.”
Instead, he said, “ask any questions that you have, I’ll be happy to answer them.”
And for 3 days, I got to do that.
I was too in my head down there and I got thrown off when he asked me what I thought of practice one day.
The imposter phenomenon was raging throughout my body.
What am I going to say that this guy doesn’t already know?
He’s ahead of you and can talk circles around you in terms of hockey details, be careful what you say
These thoughts kept me from expressing my authentic self. Live and learn.
Lessons in Lincoln
Be a positive-sum game player, help others, and share. Take people with you.
Self-doubt is normal, but you don’t have to submit to it. Share your ideas when given an open door.
You’re depressed, work on it.
Brookings, South Dakota
When the USHL season was halted, I finished my stay in Lincoln and then drove up to South Dakota where my girlfriend was finishing up her master’s.
We were there March-August and if we didn’t have news on our phone or talked to our parents from other states, we wouldn’t have known anything was going on in the world. All politics aside, it was nice.
I played a ton of golf and thought a lot.
I knew I wanted to get over the whole imposter phenomenon and put some “skin in the game.” So I started blogging.
Writing consistently has changed my life.
How?
met a community of coaches on Twitter that I’m in regular communication with
it makes me a better thinker
it challenges my previously adopted beliefs
it scales and teaches a wider audience than just “my players”
it makes me research the “other side”
it leaves “breadcrumbs” on the internet for future colleagues, friends, bosses, etc to find
it creates more conversation and questioning with people that reach out
complete strangers can find your work, read a few posts, and then pay you money for your e-books(I’ve made 142 dollars online in 2020) note: this is not a lot of money, but I’ve heard these things compound over time. Willing to see that through.
Other things I learned there:
If you eliminate seed oils from your diet, you can get a tan for the first time in 28 years
A daily walk outside, in the sun, does a lot for your mental health
I was probably vitamin D and magnesium deficient for the previous 2 years and it contributed to the depression I felt at that time. Oh and my identity was was too wrapped up in being a hockey coach.
You’re making progress on yourself, but keep going
Stop 4: Back Home in Michigan
Things I did here:
wrote a lot and thought a lot in this content creation/self-development flywheel
watched rinks open and close and open and close
coached a high school preseason team and learned about the idea of the “right thing, wrong environment”
learned where a lot of my shortcomings came from and attacked them
started a practice of studying things outside of the game and relating them back
Stop 5: Kansas City
Girlfriend took a “real job” and relocated. Figured I’d live in a 5th state this year and continue to build my content and products there.
We’ve been there for 4 weeks, here’s what I’ve learned
Kansas City is a hidden gem and one of the nicest places I’ve seen in the US.
Living within walking distance to everything is neat(don’t have a car for the first time in my adult life)
65-degree weather in December is also a nice change
Feeling traction and momentum when something you build starts to take off up the curve a little… is really cool
Reach out if you want to connect for the first time, have questions about anything I talked about, collaborate on a project, or want a new perspective on something you can’t stop thinking about.
I’d love to learn from your experiences too.