The Struggle: Who is Talking to You?
Do you remember famous cartoon scenes like this one?
Devil on one shoulder. Angel on the other. Unsure character in the middle playing the options…
The visual clicked with me one morning when I was thinking about getting out of the struggle.
Brian Kight introduced me to using 3 major frames:
Self-awareness- know yourself
Self-confidence- believe in yourself
Self-discipline- control yourself
To relate it back to the cartoon visual, when you have this nailed, you have 2 angels on your shoulders:
Self-awareness- left shoulder
Self-confidence- right shoulder
Self-discipline- your brain and body
Starting this writing journey, sharing my story, and working on myself have turned me into a better version of myself.
However, in the struggle, there are often two devils on your shoulders. There’s an inversion that occurs to all of these elements:
Auto-pilot replaces self-awareness
Self-doubt replaces self-confidence
Impulse replaces self-discipline to intentionally choose
Let’s use an example to highlight when this can go in either direction.
Before I started writing vs. after
The version of me before I started writing had 2 devils on his shoulder.
Auto-Pilot
I wasn’t as introspective. I failed to ask why I was behaving in certain ways. I wasn’t asking myself questions that would lead to answers that grew me.
Why wouldn’t I share my thoughts?
Why wasn’t my message landing with my athletes?
You won’t get answers if you don’t ask the question. Start asking the questions.
Self-Doubt
I was afraid.
Afraid to share. Imposter phenomenon. What do I know? I’m only 26.(at the time)
Afraid of judgment. Bullied growing up.
Afraid to look stupid. Fear of being unworthy.
Afraid to be me. Fear of being rejected.
Impulse
The two devils from above feed your actions. When you’re on auto-pilot and scared, you’re not going to act in a way that is going to move you towards a better version of yourself.
You’re either going to choose to continue doing what you’ve been doing or your behavior might get worse.
When we have 2 devils on our shoulders in the struggle, we are on default.
After
When I published my first post. I inverted everything from above. Starting a blog or beginning a workout program can be known as what’s called a keystone habit.
When I started sharing my writing, it led to growth in other areas of my life.
Self Awareness
When you know who you are, you can start living authentically.
Self Confidence
When you start living authentically and are okay with who you are, you can have the confidence to share stories and lessons.
Self Discipline
When you have the confidence to share, you will continue to choose to share, developing your writing habit and writing skills.
It does not just apply to starting a blog.
Where does this apply in your life?
Try this question: “would it help?”
My buddy Greg Revak shared this scene from Bridge of Spies with me that really resonates. When you’re under some pressure, who is on your shoulder talking to you? What are they saying? And this…