The Struggle: Losing Your "Self"
I legitimately don’t remember a lot of the last 2 years.
Coming out of that depression into the light was a weird experience.
I often have to check in with my girlfriend to remind me of who that past version of me even was.
What was he like?
How did he act?
What did he say?
What was it like experiencing that person?
What was it like dating that person?
And the biggest question…
Why did you stay with me if I was like that?
I was a shell of a human. Like I wasn’t even in the same room sometimes. Lifeless, expressionless, zero animation, zero energy, low vibration.
I wish I could have videotaped some of the conversations, meetings, and practices I participated in as the head coach of that team.
Note to Self: Videotape your practices in the future. The feedback you get is incredible. They do it training new dog trainers at my girlfriend’s work, the feedback of seeing yourself do things you think you’re good at is unreal.
You’re blind to a lot of your communication tics, disfluencies, etc.
The Lessons Learned
Your friends and important people in your life are going to notice you “slipping” or “falling” before you will. I needed to develop a check-in question to ask my staff, friends and significant other maybe once a week.
Do your current interactions with me lead you to believe I’m headed in a positive or negative direction?
I’ve been down the road before with no brakes, this question might help you establish some breaks or give you a guardrail.
Or deal with the first rule of holes. When you find yourself in one, stop digging.