When you’re in the struggle, you feel like you’re alone.
In a recent newsletter, James Clear made this list.
"Things that keep talented people from fulfilling their potential”:
- Trying to please everyone
- Imitating the desires of others
- Chasing status without questioning why
- Playing superhero and trying to do it all alone
- Dividing your attention between too many projects"
I want to focus on the one I’ve put in boldface.
When I was a head coach at 26, I thought I could fix everything. I had all the answers.
If the powerplay needed adjustments, I could do it.
If a player was struggling with a concept, I could get him to learn it.
If I was personally struggling, I could help myself.
When I first felt myself going down an unsustainable path, I couldn’t stop it.
The struggle was two-fold.
I was in a cave trying to do everything alone
I didn’t have a community of coaches or other friends outside of the field to bounce ideas off
The lessons are simple:
Opportunities don’t visit caves ( I love this article)
Don’t do this alone
Find a community of coaches that you can bounce ideas off. Introduce yourself in person or digitally to people trying to go in the same direction you are. Send them a cold email. (you’ll get ignored a lot.)
But the ones that respond will be the positive-sum, abundance mindset coaches that you’ll want to keep hearing from in the future. Form relationships with those people. Share an article, a podcast, or a book with them. Respond thoughtfully to something they’ve written and put out online.
Since coming out of this struggle and learning this lesson, I have both been sending and receiving this type of communication. And I’m beginning to build long-term trusting relationships that will compound and evolve over time.
Get out of your digital cave, get out of the coach’s room, and talk to people.