Contrasting is a mental model. A valuable and life-altering perspective switch.
Contrasting helps us understand the human condition better.
Let’s say you feel like your life is currently 8/10. But you check Instagram on Friday night because you just pulled into a hotel parking lot for a road game the next night.
You’re going to get a meal in you and go to bed to prepare, but your friends are getting ready to go to a party.
You’re seeing someone’s 10/10 life on Instagram, you’re at an 8. So you feel the minus 2 in your gut. It hurts.
It also works the other way.
Or you can contrast in the opposite direction to feel gratitude instead of just talking or thinking about it.
Going to the opposite end of the spectrum, Mark Baker talks about eating lunch at the cemetery a few times a year.
None of those people have the opportunity you do today… Life.
Contrast your 8/10 day now with their day. Now you feel the plus 8.
excerpt from The Thinking Edge
When you’re around your team, the building, the staff… Everything seems important.
Here’s how one MLS coach practiced contrasting after his first year on the job. (excerpt is taken from Cody Royle’s book, The Tough Stuff)
While the travels enriched Marsch’s life and brought his family closer together, it also gave him perspective on his career as a head coach. “At the time, I felt the weight of the world from my first coaching experience with Montréal, but when I was in India or Nepal or Laos or Jordan, nobody cared what was going on in Major League Soccer. Nobody knew my name, or cared if I won or lost, or what my record was. Nobody cared!” he said emphatically. Marsch says it’s probably not what the fans want to hear, but ‘Nobody cared’ was an important lesson that has shaped his mindset ever since. With some much-needed perspective, Marsch realized that there is a limit to the importance of what it is you do, a limit which is difficult to see clearly when you’re in the daily hustle.
I learned contrasting in my year away from coaching, but I really needed it during those first 2 years as a head coach. When you’re in “the struggle”, zoom out. Get perspective from a stranger’s viewpoint.
Most people “don’t care about the 2 different 15 game losing skids you went on.
There’s no wonder why so many high-profile coaches spend their summers in places like Montana. Find your Montana, even if it’s just in your head. Try some contrasting for a few minutes a day for the next couple of weeks. See if you like it and can make the habit stick.
When in doubt, zoom out.