Seek out coaching. The best players in the world demand to be coached.
Which kind of player are you right now?
What is your current relationship with feedback?
Do you have a system for taking it on board?
What filters have you set up?
Are you emotionally intelligent enough to know at the onset of a coach giving you feedback, your ego will try to get in the way to protect you?
Can you bypass that and take relevant information in?
You might not like these answers. Do some reflection and make a commitment to work on these skills.
The elite players realize there is a gap between where they currently are and where they want to go in terms of their goals and dreams. The only way to get there is to practice with intensity, do extra work to close skill gaps, and get coached in technical, tactical, physical, and psychological facets of the sport.
The Feedback Progression
There should be a natural evolution in coaching a player. But the player should be just as involved in this progression as the coach.
In the first stage, the coach is telling the player everything. This is only sustainable for so long. Eventually, you want to start being proactive and coming to the coach with your own questions. This will allow you to work together and answer those with him as the guide.
Great teachers get you to think independently and don’t just supply you with answers. However, you must be curious and love the game enough to want to get better and ask questions.
The last stage is called co-creation. This relationship is developed over many years as a player progresses to the highest level of his capabilities. Patrick Kane brings ideas to his skills coaches and they try to work together on how to fold them into his game. In this stage, both the player and coach are learning at the same time. This is quite beautiful. What stage are you currently at? It’s okay to be at stage one, just actively work to get into stage two, your game will thank you.
Taking Feedback
Accepting feedback is the second part of this equation. Here is the best way to approach this:
Be thirsty for feedback
Get feedback
Accept it from everyone and anyone at first
Begin to develop filters
If you immediately get defensive, you already lost. It takes courage to step up to a teammate and tell him a hard truth, you should be grateful he reached out to you. Thank him for saying that to you.
Read that again. Don’t get defensive and thank him for calling you up to be better than you are currently showing. After you thank him, you can start to develop a filter by trying the feedback on.
If you really don’t think it has merit, maybe ask a teammate or good friend that will tell you if that truth is in fact truth. If it is not, let it go. Anything is better than defensiveness right off the hop.
Apply It
Where can you take your first step in creating a better relationship with feedback today?