February 2017.
It was Senior Night.
During the first intermission, every senior in my class was recognized on the ice.
Pictures were taken.
Gifts were handed out.
Let me rewind for a second and paint a bit of a different scene.
A few weeks prior, we were in Athens, Ohio.
We were playing Ohio University on their senior night.
And I was sitting in the stands, scratched.
From the top row of Bird Arena, I sat there and watched.
Sean Hogan, who was Ohio's coach at the time, was standing next to the announcer who recognized every senior on Ohio's hockey team.
Every player skated up.
And without Sean leaning in first, gave their coach a big hug.
Sean had tears welled up in his eyes the whole presentation.
Every single senior comes up and hugs his head coach.
A beautiful moment.
Fast forward back to my senior night.
Was my coach standing next to the announcer?
No.
Did he get in the photo with my parents?
No.
Did he get in the photo with anyone's parents?
No.
Why?
Well, he wasn't even on the ice.
He was tucked away in his office or in the locker room or wherever he was making coaching adjustments, doing his intermission thing.
But he wasn't on the ice.
He wasn't with the seniors.
And none of the seniors wanted to give him a big hug anyway.
See the difference yet?
I just wrote that article about Deion Sanders.
My buddy Kevin, who's a reader of The New Wave Coach and my friend, reached out with a response:
Did you see the video from the 60 Minutes where he was talking about his conversation with the guys dad who was in jail? I couldn’t help but see how the guy opened up first for the hug. Pretty telling when a 20-something-year-old with a massive ego (a lot of football players have egos - right or wrong) is wanting to hug his coach.
And I told him I had and I shared with him the story I’m telling you right now.
Funny enough, I had the opportunity to transfer and play for Sean. But, I didn’t learn about it until after I graduated from my miserable experience. My Dad asked a friend of his who knew Sean after my first semester at my 2nd school if he’d be open to me coming to Ohio. But, my Dad didn’t want me to transfer to a 3rd school so he never told me that was an option when those wheels were in motion.
As I sat in the top row that night, not knowing I could have been down there hugging Sean, I thought, ‘Man it would be cool to have played for a coach like this…”
Little did I know…
I think it's valuable to reflect on this question whether you're coaching college or not.
When your season ends this year. At the end of your playoff run. At the end of the regular season, if you don't make playoffs. At the end of District Playdowns if you're a youth hockey coach… Think about this question today before the end is reached:
Am I doing the things right now as a coach that will lead my players to want to hug me after it’s all over?
This will let you know if you’re creating real human connection or…
Just manipulating them in a way that gets what you believe is their best out of them to extract value for personal gain like winning games for you…
If you don’t like the answer, change your behavior today…
Follow the Great Coach Razor:
Related Pod: