Photo: Dave Carlson of Powerplay Photography (The silent knowledge of an Owl)
There’s something Carlos Castaneda terms ‘silent knowledge’. It’s knowing something without being able to explain it. A deep feeling of simply, truth.
Experiencing and knowing the lesson all while being ignorant of how to contextualize and articulate it.
This silent knowledge was that I didn’t give much attention to those players who weren’t ‘moving towards me’.
The principle states that you can only move people who are moving towards you. If they are not, the relationship will not be fruitful for either party.
It reminds me of the scene in Hitch where the dating guru tells him to go 90% of the way towards the woman’s face for a kiss and let her go 10%.
If the player doesn’t move their 10 after a coach moves 90, the relationship is not meant to work.
Sever it quickly.
I knew it before I knew it.
Did I give them time to come around? Yes, I gave them about half of the season, but after seeing how the first season went, I probably could have given the 2nd team of players in Rochester, Minnesota even less time to start moving toward me.
Here’s how it would play out…
My assistant coach often came up to me and told me he had just spoken with a player that asked, “Does Coach Drew like me? I see he only really ‘likes’ a few players on the team and I don’t seem to be one that he gives much time to…”
They would continue to point out that I haven’t given them much attention outside of simple hellos, how are you’s and other small talk and salutations when parting ways.
My assistant coach was also my coaching mentor and best friend and he knew me. I even think he knew I was using this truth in action because he would respond to the player with questions:
“Have you invested in him?”
“Are you invested in this process (i.e. your own development)?”
“When in the last time you asked him for help with the sleep/nutrition/training/nagging injury/hockey development problem you complain to me about?”
“Have you asked to watch your shifts with him over coffee like he offers?”
He would close with a reminder of the first two questions posed as a statement.
He is currently invested in the guys that are invested in this process. The reason it looks like he has 3 favorites is because those are the guys that:
Ask him things
Want to know him and what he knows
Want to get better
Want to be ‘here’ now
Seek reasons to be separate from your coach and separate you will be.
Seek reasons to unite and so shall you be.
Seek and you shall find. Ask and you shall receive.
2 lessons for both player and coach.