You guys resonated with the story shared the other day.
My buddy Kevin, who’s helped me write some great pieces, said this in response to reading:
Loved this man. And love to see the human side of coaching. How many people would have answered that question in a materialistic way (I want to win a championship here, I want to create an experience for fans that they will love to watch, etc). You know when adversity hits this guy, he’s going to be able to motor through it, because his motivations are so much bigger than the game.
I would hire this guy in a heartbeat.
Unlucky for Todd, Kevin is not a GM… But there’s some gold in what Kevin said, and I’d love to dig into this…
Dark Motivation = Force = Self-Exhausting
Many coaches who win championships speak of the ‘now what?’ question after they lift the trophy and return to the locker room/ coaches room.
For many, they speak of an empty feeling after winning.
‘It isn’t what I thought’.
‘It didn’t feel that good for that long’.
Why does this happen? And why do we often hear it from the coaches who want to ‘win’ over just about anything?
The answer, if you’re on this newsletter may not shock you…
Those coaches are Force coaches.
To go back to and build on top of what Kevin said… When you’re ‘why’ is deeper than winning a trophy for yourself, not only will you handle adversity better, but you won’t experience the ‘now what?’ moment in the locker room when you experience great success.
It was never about the trophy and will never be about the trophy to an In-Powered Coach.
With Force Coaches, the intention and motive is ‘dark’. Dark motivation is based in fear. The ego wants to win. The ego wants the trophy. The ego wants to gain clout and move up levels having won the trophy.
The inner speech is, “What can I get.”
It’s also, “if I don’t get it, who am I?”
And if you weren’t sure or haven’t been put through enough of the paces yet, let me assure you… No amount of material success is going to fill you up.
The empty feeling is the realization that the thing you thought was going to fill you up, make you whole and fulfill you, isn’t going to. The trophy isn’t for that empty space. Something else is. In that moment you learn something… You have work to do on yourself to become whole.
Dark motivation is self-exhausting. And that’s why coaches who use it and win look exhausted.
However, there is good news…
Go Towards the Light (Motivation)
Light motivation is based in love. The drivers are different.
The players having a great user experience is a light motivation. As a coach, you are trying to give a gift every day of a great environment. That is ‘for’ your players.
Using on of Todd’s examples from the last post, giving the players your lessons before they have to experience them the hard way saves them time. That’s a gift to them. Light motivation.
Having a philosophy that the ‘score takes care of itself’ and coming at winning through developing a development process is light motivation. It’s planting a garden and nurturing the fruit instead of juicing it for all it’s worth for a year. Force extracts, In-Powered Coaches don’t.
Thoughts To-Go
Intention is everything.
When you gun for a championship and then get it, what happens?
When you're driven by light and love... Who cares what happens, you aren't doing it for the trophies or accolades or anything like that.
It's amazing what people who are out of their ego can bring.
Light motivation will serve you in both adversity and in championship bliss.
Purify your intention. It’ll change who you are be-ing.
Your ‘WHY’ is a superpower if it’s deep enough.