Let’s get controversial… Watch this 1 min clip.
Everyone is applauding the player for “making eye contact” with his coach and “taking the coaching and showing respect.”
I’m going to bear some bad news here…
That’s bullshit.
I’ve been that kid in college.
He’s not “taking the coaching.” No respect is being shown.
It’s deeper than what you see on the surface.
And knowing the deeper levels of this “game” are going to make you a better coach.
This is about power dynamics and risk.
Here’s the deeper understanding from Keir with Rugby Strength Coach… In plain English…
See it yet?
Let’s talk about power dynamics first.
Power Dynamics
Remember BK’s quote from Part 1:
Do you have players following you as the leader or just following you because you have control?
In pro sports, 10 players on the Minnesota Wild can be unhappy with their coach a few years back and the coach gets fired. Sorry, Bruce.
The players have more power than the coach. They collectively get paid more than 1 person and have the power to make changes on the coaching staff.
In college sports, that script is flipped. Like Keir says above:
Weird how respectful someone gets when you threaten taking away a 6 figure degree and an athletic career from them.
Perceived respect is not real respect when that sort of behavior is going on. Remember to look deeper.
Now that we understand the power dynamics at play… Let’s put ourselves in the players’ shoes… He understands risk.
Asymmetrical Risk- Upside and Downside
In life, we want to place bets that have unlimited upside with very little downside. These are known as asymmetrical upside bets.
The stupid game with the stupid prize is placing bets with asymmetrical downside. Things that have very little upside return but unlimited or disastrous downside.
The Oregon player is just trying to save his scholarship and career. He’s playing the odds.
The upside play for him is to say nothing and keep his roster spot and free ride at Oregon.
The downside play is to say something back to his coach which would put the following outcomes in play:
Suspension from team
Removal from team
Loss of scholarship
That coach blackmailing you when you apply for transfers
The worst thing he could do is talk back while the coach has already lost emotional control and will overreact to anything inflammatory he might say.
I’ve made this mistake.
What Talking Back Get’s You When you Don’t Have Power
Sophomore year, national tournament, round of 8. 1st intermission.
After a decent first period, our coach comes in and rips into us, which wasn’t abnormal. But needless to say, the boys were a little on edge because we knew we were playing well and that wasn’t the message we received.
I dressed as the 13th forward and was especially on edge after seeing 0 shifts in the first period.
The second period starts, and the linesman waved off an icing call that my coach thought he shouldn’t have…
Pandemonium ensues.
He lost it on this ref as if I had just turned the puck over after making a blind pass into the slot…
And he wouldn’t let it go.
He was screaming up and down at this linesman for 3 minutes of game time (I kept track) until I had enough of his poor modeling of “next play mentality.”
So I piped up, “Fucking let it go, it doesn’t matter!”
It felt like the game stopped and someone broke the 4th wall in a movie…
I was about to pay for that…
He came off the bench behind us, walked down to the forwards, and demanded to know who said it.
Nobody said a word…
He then accused me of doing it on half-baked evidence because he knew I hated his coaching as much as he hated my game. (Good guess on his part)
My assistant coach spoke up and saved me from walking back to Iowa after the tournament and said I was speaking to one of my linemates in frustration.
Thanks, AC.
And on the first of the 2 shifts that I was granted the rest of the game, I scored the game-winner.
But had he known I was talking to him, I would have had to transfer to my 3rd school.
Which in hindsight would have been way better.
When “Yes, Sir” Actually Means “Fuck off”
I didn’t have a full ride to lose but I sure understood the lack of power I had and that it could have cost me everything.
So I get why the Oregon WR chose not to say a single word other than maybe, “yes sir.”
Understand this… You have power… and because you do…
Your “perfectly coachable” players might just be “expert risk managers.”
Respect runs deeper than “eye contact and yes, sir.”
P.S. A Quick Word
If you’re new to my work or have been a long-time subscriber, know that nothing I write about comes from surface level. There are always other variables at play, especially in human-to-human interactions. If you would like to dive deeper into our community, subscribe below. We have free and paid options. Choose your own adventure here:
Also, consider supporting my work further by diving deeper into the CHP ecosystem. I love what I’m doing but in order to keep doing it to the most valuable extent… I would ask that you consider one of our ebooks or presentations. The exchange of value will help me continue pushing the community further. Thank you for reading until the end! (click below to support us)