Anger 101
I used to love reading the coaching books of Urban Meyer, Mike Babcock and the like…
And then I woke up to the incoherence between what sounds great in books and what is happening in reality.
I learned to watch actions not listen to words.
Here’s another incongruency to observe…
Every coach talks about how important the long game is but then they use anger as a way to guilt their players into quick behavior change at the cost of long-term character development.
The quick screaming fit that gets your players to stop doing X fuels the ego. It says:
“Look, you did that, you yelled and they stopped fucking up. Way to go Coach”
The feedback loop is complete, and you will do it again. Cause damn that felt good.
The infinite game is character development and that doesn’t call for quick fixes. Quick fixes actually are the band-aid that will never allow you to get to the root of the issue with the person. By quick fixing, you’re actually hurting the player long-term. Kicking the can down the road.
But hey, at least you don’t have to deal with that one thing that really bugged you about them because you yelled at them for it. Now they avoid doing it.. Not because they ‘become a better person’ but because they ‘want to avoid you yelling at them again’.
See the difference?
If you’re angry, you separate.
If you teach, you unite.
If you’re angry, you’re trying to impart guilt on them.
If you teach, they remain innocent and the mistake can simply be corrected.
If you’re angry, they sinned.
If you’re above 200, they made an error.
Thoughts To-Go
The former is not the latter: