I’m working on the 201 course and wanted to send a preview.
If you haven’t checked out the 101 course, here’s the link.
I mentioned non-attachment in a few recent tweets and previously written pieces.
There was pushback on social claiming the idea sounds ideal but ‘seems impractical or unrealistic’.
I’d like to make things more practical and realistic then because non-attachment is something coaching needs more of.
Think of coaching in game on the bench…
What images come to mind?
Maybe one like this?
Maybe this?
Let’s dig into a mental model…
Thinking vs Aware Mind
Hawkins writes:
Awareness is automatic and inclusive of the totality of life's situations. It relies on knowingness rather than on thinking or figuring things out. Its function is spontaneous and silent rather than calculating.
Awareness reflects a different set of operating principles and tends to be more benign and global in its responses. It sees the whole picture and responds in accord. Aware mind is not prone to banal positionalities or judgments nor does it get entrapped in frenetic endeavors. It tends to be easygoing and mellow and prefers to observe rather than to become involved in the world's dramas.
Aware mind is not involved in worldly definitions of gain or loss. We speak of that type of relating to the world as 'laid back' or 'philosophical'. While the thinking mind of the ego says, "Isn't that awful," awareness knows that it is merely the ebb and flow of life and that, in the end, it is all the same.
All this to say, Thinking Mind is the ego-fueled mind that wants to be right, teach you a lesson, wake you up, or whatever else coaches have been programmed to think coaching is. Thinking Mind is combative:
Aware Mind is non-attached. Still in the game, still behind the bench. Still in the suit and tie, but this mind is chill… Aware Mind knows the best way to ‘win’ might be to concede to the player on this one, or genuinely agree with him…
Thinking Mind screams to a player, “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?!”
Aware Mind quietly takes his game card out of his suit pocket, jots down the time in the period, and waits to teach the ‘real’ lesson, tomorrow, or between periods, or when he gets a 2nd look at it to make sure he ‘saw’ what really happened.
Thinking Mind yells, ‘skate’, and ‘go’ when players touch the puck in the game to signal he is ‘coaching’.
Aware Mind knows the players can’t hear him and if they can, they can’t process his requests in the heat of the moment.
Thinking Mind thinks every play is important and must ‘be coached’.
Aware Mind knows that one or two key situations or plays is going to make or break the game. It also knows not to stand there anxiously worried about each micro-sequence and decision that is made by the players.
Thinking Mind picks every battle.
Aware Mind knows that if everything is important, nothing can truly be important.
Thinking mind is attached.
Aware Mind is non-attached.
And that doesn’t mean detached or passive, Hawkins again:
To the ego, peace sounds inactive and passive because the ego thinks in terms of 'doing' some thing, such as seeking control, gain, or avoidance.
The ego darts through traffic, pushes the speed limit, and watches for police cars. It fumes at delays and stupid drivers; it tailgates and curses under its breath at slow traffic. It blows its horn and passes on curves. It is driven by the hope of beating time and jumping the line. It shakes its fist at the driver who moves ahead in line and it vows terrible vengeance.
Can coaches relate to the need to be ‘doing something’?
Just watch their useless bench coaching which signals an illusion of coaching instead of doing what is right for the player and team in the moment.
Which is often, letting it go, making a note to revisit it later and picking the player up instead of beating him down when he makes what he feels is a ‘mistake’.
Making a scene on the bench is for ‘you’ not them.
The illusion of coaching by being ‘seen’ doing ‘something’ is for you, not them.
Thinking Mind thinks and thinks with the self-reward system of the ego. It feels ‘good’ to say something. To ‘address it’.
Aware Mind knows the time and the place for correction is not in the game.
P.S. I prefer my gameday in Aware Mind