2 Questions to Filter Feedback
We all get criticized…
But do we have the skill to get better because of it?
Consider this filter:
Is this criticism accurate or inaccurate?
Does the person that is giving me this criticism have my best interest at heart or not?
Plot that on a 4 quadrant graph in your head and decide what to do with it accordingly.
Level of truth and level of love.
If in your mental model, what you're hearing is in the upper right quadrant, take that on board and get to work right away.
If the person you're hearing it from isn't close to you or is wildly inaccurate, let it roll off of you.
Low/Low and High/High should be easy to navigate. The skill is when one is low and the other level is high.
The skill is finding and focusing.
If we receive this kind of feedback, we should be trying to place a percentage on how much of the truth we are hearing. This is the find piece.
Then the hardest part. Focus on the percentage that is truth.
Our default response is to find fault in the other person that is giving us the feedback.
The problem with that is everyone is imperfect. So find and focus on the truth, even if you think what they are saying is 20% accurate. Work on that. Focus on that. Waste no energy on the other 80%.
The best version of you finds and focuses on truths, even when they are difficult to hear.
The best version of you applies a filter.
Don't find faults, find the truth and attack it.
Thanks to Brian Kight for teaching this filter. I just wanted to build some ideas on top.